my soul wont recognize me after tonight
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
