i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
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Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
