found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
