Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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