i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
nutella sex= disaster
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Randomize
