We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
