she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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