Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
