I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
