Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
