We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
it was like eating out sand paper
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
