at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
