idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
