drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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