mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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