Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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