i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
