just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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