it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
