went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Randomize