His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
