Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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