I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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