As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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