you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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