She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
