At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
