I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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