You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
