i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Someone shit on the floor
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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