she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
