Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
