coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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