btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
it was like eating out sand paper
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
