I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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