I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
