sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
