their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
