Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
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You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
This is my gift to your gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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