when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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