Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
