Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
