why didn't you poke me back
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
