Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
