Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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