pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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