My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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