marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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