Where did you get a picture of my penis
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
