I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
