Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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