I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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