By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You need Xanax blowdarts
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
