I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
