so explain again why im purple
no
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I lost the right to judge tonight
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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