Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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