If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
