Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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