It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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