why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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