she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
