Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The police scanner is talking about you again....
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
my poor anus
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
