her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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