I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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