My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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