what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
