Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
