member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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