cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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