I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
